Can you relate? You’re juggling your time caring for growing children while working and also providing care for your aging parents. Or your caregiving duties are focused on one or more family member and their increasing health issues while you’re also attempting to focus on duties outside of caregiving.

During National Caregiver Day, we focus on the fact that more than 40 million adults in America care for older adults – nine out of ten of those people are caring for at least one family member over the age of 65. From running errands, to doing tasks around their home, to personal care tasks like bathing or getting dressed, caregiving takes on many forms.

We talked with April Tuftee, licensed social worker with Livio Health, to learn about common issues and areas of frustration with family caregiving.

“Oftentimes, caregiving is a very meaningful experience,” says April. “But I’ve noticed that caregivers with fewer social supports themselves may also experience isolation, frustration, and higher stress levels. This can be confusing as they also experience joy and meaning in caregiving, but feel guilty when those other emotions come into play. It all can be part of the experience.”

How can a family deal with just one family member taking the lead on care?

Often this looks like one sibling doing the bulk of the caregiving for one or both parents while other siblings are unable or less willing to help. Having open and honest conversations with the entire family can work wonders to help set expectations. Discuss what your loved ones would like assistance with, balance that with the care everyone believes is truly necessary, and then figure out, realistically, what each family member is able to do to help.

“If someone cannot be there to do hands-on care, they can potentially help with finances or care coordination. Also, offering some time for respite, if it can be done, is very helpful,” April says. “When family members are not doing the hands-on care, I really encourage them to listen to the person doing the caregiving when they talk about changes or concerns they have because they’re not always visible to those not in the home every day.”

Frequent check-ins can help prevent any one person feeling overwhelmed by caregiving duties. For those not doing day-to-day care, April recommends they ask the daily caregiver, “Are you looking for a solution or do you just want to be heard?” as sometimes caregivers just want to talk about their experiences or “vent.” She also encourages caregivers to ask for help and never feel like that ask is a burden. Many times, people are willing and able to help, but they don’t know what the needs are. So, when asking for help, be specific.

Having a neutral facilitator, such as a member of your Livio care team, can help keep conversations on track and ensure all voices are equally represented.

How can caregivers manage stress?

Caregiving can feel like it gradually overtakes your life leading to stress, feeling overwhelmed, isolation, and even added financial burdens. “It’s a good idea to get used to asking for help,” says April. “I also recommend taking breaks when you can, no matter how small or large the amount of time is. Many caregivers don’t get may breaks, even at night when they should be resting. Remember, you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others.”

What should caregivers do when they notice changes in a loved one’s health status?

April always recommends bringing up health changes with a doctor as soon as possible.

Sometimes changes in a loved one’s health are abrupt and very noticeable. Other times, they happen gradually and may creep up on your radar. Some things to look out for include:

• Inability or unwillingness to keep up with a routine or appointments
• Lack of appetite/not eating
• The state of their home – is it safe and sanitary? Are they paying the bills?
• Isolation – do they take advantage of opportunities to spend time with others in or out of their home?
• Repeating questions or information over and over, often in a short time span
• Concerns about their safety while driving including “incidents” and accidents with the vehicle
• Falling or losing balance repeatedly, difficultly navigating stairs
• Feeling like they may not be safe in their home on their own – missing their medications, incontinence, not eating, etc.
• Getting lost, wandering at unusual times
• Changes in their behavior as the day progresses – becoming upset or confused toward the end of the day

How do you balance the role of caregiver with other areas of your life?

Caregivers often describe their situations as stressful, feel a toll on their own health and wellbeing, experience depression or sleep disruption, and find that their role as caregiver negatively affects other relationships in their lives.

Stressful situations can lead to burnout and caregiving is no different. April points out these signs as indicators of significant stress in a caregiving role:

• Anxiety and depression
• General irritability or frequent anger/shortness with the person in your care
• Inability to concentrate or overwhelming exhaustion
• Changes in weight or appetite
• Sleep disruption
• Withdrawing from social situations or interaction with others

Caregiver support groups, trusted spiritual communities, family members, neighbors – there are many people who have been on a caregiving journey and are eager to share how they navigated it. Talking about your challenges and successes on a regular basis can be helpful in relieving stress. However, April cautions, sometimes your stress may go beyond what friends and family can address and seeking help from a therapist is a good choice. Working with your care team can be transformative for patients, families, and caregivers.

Livio care teams can help families identify areas of need, provide support options and resources to meet a wide range of needs, and assist with care management. Livio can help facilitate difficult conversations and help find resources ranging from nursing support to financial planning and stress reduction tools.

Livio’s caregiver support group

Livio also offers a monthly support group for caregivers, accessible by phone or online, so your location is not a barrier. Facilitated by a clinical social worker, the group is a place to learn new coping techniques as well as to connect with other caregivers to share experiences and learn from others.

To learn more about Livio Health, visit liviohealth.com or call the number on the back of your insurance card to see if you are eligible for Livio’s services.