The holidays are here, and it's easy to become entangled in all the hustle and bustle.

We asked Dr. Russell Morfitt, co-founder and chief psychology officer of Learn to Live– an online resource for managing anxiety, depression and related issues– for some advice on how to cope with the craziness. He offers four suggestions for a less stressful, more peaceful season.

Focus on what you value

Is your to do list as long as Santa’s naughty or nice list? Dr. Morfitt says to pause and consider what you truly value. It’s probably not the stuff on your list.

“For most of us, what we value more is relationships and the time we spend with the people we care about, the symbolism of the holidays and what they mean to us or the restoration that can go with taking a break.”

It makes sense to pour your efforts into what is important to you in your life.

Manage expectations

Dr. Morfitt says many people envision the holidays being just so – like a Norman Rockwell painting. However, it’s important to be real about what you expect from yourself and others.  

If you’re hosting a dinner, for example, reduce your expectations. Be ready to laugh at yourself and your own non-perfect performance.  Remember, preparing a flawless meal probably isn’t what you value most anyway.

Don’t expect perfect emotions all the time, either.

“It’s a myth that the norm is to always be happy. In reality, life is hard and we have ups and downs.  The more you can take pressure off yourself to feel happiness all the time, the more peaceful you’ll be. It’s a burden to try to live up to those expectations of always being happy or trying to make sure that everyone else is always happy.”

Show gratitude

The holidays are an opportune time to show gratitude to the people you care about.

“There’s solid research that shows whenever you show gratitude to someone that that contributes to your well being and to theirs. If you want to enhance your wellness, showing gratitude is a great way to do it,” says Dr. Morfitt.

Take advantage of those private moments with people to express appreciation for the kindness they’ve shown you. There’s no better time than when they’re right in front of you.

If you’re a guest, you might find that helping the host– preparing food or clearing dishes– is a wonderful time to connect.

Don’t dwell

Once the parties have passed, the decorations are down and the holiday hoopla is over, simply refuse to dwell on the negatives.

“Not every joke you tell will be hilarious. You’ll miss the chance to connect with someone you would’ve liked to. And someone may’ve acted in a way that was not flattering. To chew on those things over and over again can make you miserable.”

No one wants that.

We wish you a peaceful holiday season and a happy New Year!

To learn more about Learn to Live and experience their programs, visit their website at LearnToLive.com/partners. Learn to Live’s programs are available at no cost for select Blue Cross plans. To find out if you have free access, please call your Blue Cross customer service representative. If you’d like help with your stress, call the number on the back of your member card to find a health care professional.

As part of a strategic commitment to build a broad portfolio of health solutions, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota made a financial investment in Learn to Live in 2016.